Me, Myself and I..

I've come to realise that I've already been on hols for almost 3 weeks now. It seems that there has not been any progress in my life; I've just wasted 3 weeks of hols. Time to put things right.
The past week was a great bore. Nothing splendid and nothing great, with the exception that I went to a barbeque party at church. Did I say that Daniel is back from Australia? Yes, he is back from Australia, the same old friend of mine.
This week:

• My church Youth Camp will commence this saturday. Hoping for wonderful things to happen.

Thats about all.. Another boring week ahead..

Love..

Everyone, irrespective of age, gender and race, loves to be loved. It is a universal experience free to all who seek it. It causes the strongest of men to falter, it stirs up emotions in the coldest of hearts, it sends people up to the clouds. Love is a complicated feeling. Infatuation on the other hand...

Many of us recognise the feeling; our heart skips a beat (sometimes two) and we get drowzy. We feel blood rushing throughout our bodies and we feel instantly energized. It all happens when we fall in love.

I've felt the feeling many times before. Yes, I've fallen in love many times before but the relationship usually lasts a few minutes =). ( Call it love if you want, it doesn't really matter) . What I've discovered is that falling in love is a particularly easy thing to do. It requires not much effort and requires no commitments. There are no boundaries to whom you can fall in love with.

Staying in love however, is a very different matter. It takes courage and commitment to stay together. It requires sacrifices to be made on both parties. It requires people to soldier on, even in testing times. In short, it demands a herculean effort to stay in love.

Sadly, most people never stay in love for long. Sooner or later, the affection that once held the relationship together so tightly wears off. There comes a point in time where either side of a party deems the relationship not worth the sacrifice. The relationship ends. They fall out of love.

Falling out of love shares nothing in common with falling in love with the exception that both are easy things to do. Whenever things seem bleak in a relationship, the easiest thing to do is to call it quits. It seems that most people end up in a scenario as aforesaid.

I've never stayed in a realtionship long enough to know what being in love is all about. But from what I hear, they say that love is blind. It strikes at any moment; oftentimes when we least expect it. I also hear that Cupid's arrow can bring two tremendously differing people together; usually at a great cost. i.e. in Lord of the Rings, Arwen gave up her immortality to be with Aragorn; an act of utmost love.

On my part, I think that love is not bound by anything. It is by far the greatest emotion that humankind can feel; even greater than the rational mind. In retrospect, I take great pride in echoing what Arwen once told Aragon:

The light of the Evenstar does not wax and wane.
It is mine to give to whom I will.
Like my heart.
-Arwen Undomiel-

Me, Myself and I..

The climb up Mount Korbu didn't go according to plan. We hiked up to the first campsite on the first day but we couldn't carry on. We spent 2 nights at the campsite then proceeded to descend the mountain the following day. However, I did get to spend 2 nights in Ipoh at a friend's house (it was really very very fun). I plan to reutrn to mount Korbu in 3 weeks.
This week:

• I really have nothing on this week. However, I will be helping a friend to revise his chemistry and give him some final tips before his SPM.

Other than that, I would think that I'll be having a really uneventful week. Maybe I should start studying. ;) That's all for now.. cheers

Growing Up..

When I was young, I dreamt of growing up. I wanted to be older, stronger and superior. I wanted it so badly that I did things to make myself seem more mature. I convinced myself if that I put aside my childish ways aside long enough, I'd soon grow out of it. Or I thought so.

But the child in me haunted me for years. Now, many years later, I find myself making an ironic wish that I'd be able to be young again. I want to enjoy being childish and I want to be silly. I don't want to grow up. However, no matter how hard I wish, I simply can't be a child anymore. (with the exception of the occasional childish pranks, of course)

It brings me to think about how much sometimes we humans have the tendency to rush through life. At times, we rush through life so fast that we forget not only where we've been, but also where were going to.

We miss the things that matter the most and we make a great mess of our lives. At the end of all the rushing, we realise that there weren't anythings to rush about in the first place. Life is not a race. We only get to live life once.

However, more often than not, we choose to live in an indifferent and ignorant way. We squander away their days on earth by indulging in detrimental acts. We miss out on everything life has to offer us. How many of us ask "how are you?" and really mean it? How many of us care that our neighbour is sick? Not many can claim to be such a person.

Learning to grasp and enjoy life is fast becoming a rare skill. More and more people are merely existing but barely alive. It seems that the essence of life is dissapearing. We have to capture it once more.

Do not let your life
Slip through your fingers
By living in the past nor the future.
By living your life one day at a time,
You live all the days of your life.

A stroll down memory lane

I am continuously amazed at how time passes by. I was strolling in 1 utama just the other day and to my suprise, I bumped into quite a number of friends- old, new and present ones. It certainly was great to see old friends; faithful friends who were and still are dear to me. I didn't exactly stop to chat with them, I just said a quick "hullo" and left. Though it seemed to me that I was hanging out with them only a few months back, in reality, it was nearly 3 years ago. Time certainly does pass by pretty fast.

Having bumped into my old friends, I took the liberty to recall the cherished memories that we shared- the sweet, the bitter and yes, even the silly ones.We shared the ups and the downs, and even the upside downs. It certainly felt heart warming taking a stroll down memory lane.

Of all the things I miss the most, I miss the sleepless nights where I spend talking to friends about life and the future. I miss the midnight movies and I miss the night basketball. More than any other, I miss my friends. Each of them connotes a unique experience that only I would understand.

Bumping into some old friends sufficed for me. However, there are many more friends that I didn't have a chance to bump into. Deep inside, there is a sorrowful yet passionate yearning to see them all again. I really do wonder how each and everyone of them are.

Travelling back up memory lane isn't easy, especially when the past has so much to offer. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to dwell on the past. There are new horizons for me to conquer and life has to carry on, and on, and on, and on.......

Me, myself and I ...

Enough about my school already. As for the past week, my team lost the football match in the semis. We lost in the penalty shootouts (1-0). It was really unfortunate as 4 of our shots hit the crossbar and went out. Anyway, it was a great match. I reached home last wednesday and I really must say that being home is simply splendid. Anyway, I trust that this week holds much more in store for me.

• The hiking trip to Mt. Korbu will start this thursday. I'll be leaving for Ipoh by bus on thursday night, then to tanjung rambutan. The hike will start the proceeding morning. Prayers are certainly welcome, especially that my injured ankle doesn't cause me any mishaps.
• Carolling practice has already begun and I am somewhat left behind as I wasn't present for the past few weeks of practice. Fortunately, this year won't see us carolling in any shopping complexes nor at any functions. We'll be going from one house to another and yes, there will be lotsa great food that awaits me. =)
• My brother, Markus, will be performing at the songwriter's avenue. Its a meeting for local songwriters and atists and also to encourage the younger talents. I must say that I feel really honoured to have a brother of many talents. =P

That's all for now. But at the moment, I'm really pumped up about the hiking trip; I've been preparing for the last 2 days already. That's all for now and when I return from the hiking trip, I will share my precious experiences with everyone.

The pantry

This is where we have our snacks- the pantry. Its equipt with a refrigerator, electric kettle, microwave and a water dispenser. I'm also a regular at the pantry. You can see me here at 9:45, during the break time in between prep times.

Hobbies...

This is where I usually spend most of my time. Its the billiards room. I'm a regular at the billiards room and I can be sighted from 10:30 pm to 11:30 pm almost everyday.

Nadzimuddin..

I'm sure that everyone has been missing me for the past 3 months or so. It must be really hard not having me around. I assure you all, that I too miss you people as much as you miss me. (If you do miss me of course..) Anyway, enough of the sarcasm already.
As you know, I've been studying in KTJ for the past few months. It really is a very nice place to be in; there are nice people, nice teachers, good facilities..etc.. However, trying to write about the whole college in general is a daunting task. So, I chose to start explaining about the place where I would feel closest to home.

Yeah.. That building you see in the picture has been my home for the past 3 months. The house bears the name of the 1st grandson of the late Tuanku Jaafar, Tunku Nadzimuddin. I am in Nadzimuddin house. Other poeple would be living in other houses named after the sons and daugthers of Tuanku Jaafar i.e. Imran, Naquiah, Irinah..etc
The Nadzimuddin house is the largest of all the houses and also happens to be the newest. Nadzimuddin house is well known for its rugby team. (We are the defending champs of the annual rugby competitions for 3 years and running.) Basically the house comprises of students from the age of 13-20 and the teachers who take care of the students.
We have a housemaster by the name of Mr. David James Hitchman and 2 resident tutors, Mr. Maidin and Mr. Ang. We also have a loving matron who takes care of the sick and injured students, Matron Chee. The house is run by the teachers helped by the house captain(Arshad) and his fellow prefects (Rollin and Jazlan). Under the guidance of our beloved housemaster and prefects, we were able to win various inter house competitions namely the rugby, cross-country and house singing competitions.
All the students and teachers combined, form a loving and caring family. It really is a privilege for me to be a part of Nadzimuddin house. At least it has been for the past term. And I do hope it remains that way for the rest of the time I shall be in KTJ.

Beauty from within...

"Do you think you look good?"- A question so simple yet so profound. It is a question for the strong hearted and the perceptive mind. (definitely not for me) Nevertheless, I was given the honour of answering the question when a friend of mine posed me with the question about a week ago. Being my modest self, I answered "no", which of course is what I honestly think of myself. But whether I look good or not, that is besides the point.
The point is that people nowdays are beginning to cherish good looks like never before. To a certain extent, looks have become an invaluable asset to the human race. It is often exploited and used to oneself's advantage. i.e. Misleading people by creating impressions what we are not, thus, earning recognition not due to ourselves.
It is saddening to know that the human race is becoming more and more dependant on looks to survive. The outward beauty of the human flesh has so largely influence our lives at times it seems that looks itself play a major role in determining where one would be in the near future. After giving this subject much thought, many questions came to mind. Among one of the questions is "what about inward beauty?"
Shouldn't inward beauty be given the same importance as of the outward self? By all means, it should be. However, it is easy to talk about the obvious and things that are seen- the outward self. But the inner self cannot be seen. It comprises of feelings and emotions and it is governed by the mental faculty by which we stay alive. Therefore it is hard to judge the inner self, for the inner self is untangible and merely a perception in essence. This often leads to the biased judgement of a person, for the inner self is usually left out.
It is important therefore, not to judge a book by its cover, but by its content. One can have the most horrid look in the world but yet have the sweetest heart. We must all learn to look deeper into one's self and not be so shallow. Beauty after all, is fleeting. It will pass away with time. More importantly, we must all learn to appreciate and cherish inner beauty.
With full knowledge that the outward look doesn't really matter much, I can say with confidence that I am not good looking. But I am beautiful inside. The singer Christina Aguillera once sang a song which chorus goes:

I am beautiful no matter what they say,
Words can't bring me down,
I am beautiful in every single way,
Yes, words can't bring me down,
So don't you bring me down today.

Indeed, what others think doesn't matter much. Good looks don't matter much. But beauty from within...

Me, Myself and I..

Yes, I know.. Bush won the elections. I guess that doesn't make him a dork anymore. Nevertheless, The past week has been really smooth sailing and nothing eventful happened. As for this week:

• The term will be over in a bout 2 days. I'm not exactly esatatic about having to go home, but going home is still fun right? Anyway, I have an expedition to plan for.
• I got back my exam results for the past exam. Definitely not the results I desired to have, but I'll have to put up with it anyway.
• Good news to all, my dad brought me the digital camera over the weekend. So, be expecting to see some comments about my present school.
• My football team will be playing the semi-finals today. We expect it to be a very hard and challenging match. Hopefully, we'll win.

Nothing much this week, be prepared for next. Ta-ta

Gullible citizens of a distant country...

Its amazing how we homosapiens are so gullible. We believe what others say without a question, especially when that someone is of a reliable reputation. Lies, to a certain extent, has become the truth for a portion of the majority.
The election results in US will be known by the end of today. For the past few weeks, both Kerry and Bush has been rallying people to their sides with hopes that the people will vote for their respectful selves. Both promise a land flowing with milk and honey, both promise to bring the nation to greater heights. Who would win the election? It doesn't really matter to me.
Both of them are liers. At the end of today, the person who tells the most convinvcing lies would be the most powerful man in the world. Voting for either one would mean choosing the better among the worse. I really do sympathize with the voters as they will be having a really tough time trying to vote for either one. (Both of them are ***tards)
But does it really matter who you vote for? After all, if both of them are liers, what matters most isn't who takes the place in the white house, right? But different leaders have different policies. For example, Bush claims to be a "president of war" and he has a peculiar hobby of bombing other contries. What fun. Kerry on the other hand, promises to be more efficient in fighting terrorism. I guess that there is a certain importance in choosing the right leader for a certain country.
Leaders of a country are representatives of the nation; every nation has its own leaders. They plan the future of the country, they execute their plans, they toil day and night to keep everyone happy. By anyone's standards, its not an easy job. The leader of a country is the ultimate slave of the people. It really is unimaginable to think that someone would want to be everyone's slave. However, with great power, comes great responsibility, and vice-versa; with great responsiblity comes great power.
Leaders are given power above other people. Their curse are also their blessing. But leaders often misuse their powers and the nation ends up in jeopardy. A great shame, don't you think so? But in most cases, leaders have a genuine love for their country and want improvements in their country.
Eventough the candidates for the elections are not the best people in the world, I do think that they deserve a pat on their back for being able to put up with so many peoples needs. Its not an easy job and putting up with it, even when it means sacrificing personal needs is something to look up to. So why don't all of us remain neutral and supportive manner of the elections in the US? Even when we know that Bush is a dork.

A day older..

Two weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday. I don't know why, but the older you get, the urge to celebrate decreases as well. Maybe its a natural occurance where we humans acknowledge that birthdays mean that our time left on earth in decreasing. Possibly, to me, its just another day- I'm just a day older.
It was a sunday, a day before the start of my exams. I woke up and headed to the dining hall for my breakfast. There was nothign special that day. Even going to church was particualarly mundane. The day was normal; I spent most of my time studying for the upcoming exam the next day. Of course, I had a break in the evening to have my daily dose of tennis, but other than that, my birthday was plain boring.
Its not normal for people to feel sad on their birthdays, but I was an exception that day. I was feeling downdcast and I couldn't help feeling helpless. I wanted someone to talk to, or at least keep me company on my birthday. My parents went to Korea, and I was stuck in a hostel somewhere far from civilization.
What happened to all the celebration and happy smiles that are usually sighted everytime my birthday comes around? Truthfully, it passes away with time. Its my 18th birthday. Its not the first time I'm celebrating my birthday and it doesn't seem as important as before. Maybe beacuse I'm growing up and have the desire to be independant, to be alone and survive all by myself. Most of the times however, that is not the case.
Complaining about how gloomy my birthday is won't take me no where. Celebrating in gloominess at times is good for the soul; celebrating my birthday in a new manner was a great and new experience. After all, I still have many birthdays to go.