Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Me, Myself and I..

"There comes a period where you feel that everyone owes you something- a period that we feel we have the right to feel selfish and to care only for ourselves."

House singing was last saturday. Nadzimuddin didn't win. After weeks of toilsome labour and many long days, I expected at least a place in the top 3. It was dissaponting, frustrating and demoralising. I felt that Nadzi deserved some recognition at least. As a house, we weren't the best of singers; we would never match up to the other girl houses. Plus this time round, there was so much emphasis on singing- it totals up to 75% of the marks. So, I wallowed in my despair.
For the past week or so, I have been keeping up late to finish some work. Late night discussions about house singing wasn't helping my schedule either. Sleeping in class was soon becoming a norm. Because of that, my academic performance deteriorated. I can't keep up with my studies as much as I wished to. I'm sure I'm not the only one; in the past week, 2 other people in my class had an emotional breakdown.
Petty things seem to bother me. I just got back some of my exam results. It doesn't look too good. I'm feel as if I'll be falling sick soon.
Then again comes a period where you feel that everyone owes you something- a period that we feel we have the right to feel selfish and to care only for ourselves. There is always the temptation to succumb to pressure and to be as selfish as you wish to- not to give a damn about what other people feel and what they say; making sure you're safe for the least. Its so hard to remain composure and not to crumble under pressure.
But I'm alive, and I guess its ok to have a few bumps in the journey of life. People say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Now that house singing is over, at least I can breathe.

I wish for a week of holidays =)

-

The inter house rugby competitions just started. As defending champions, there is always immense pressure to keep the title. We were given a rude awakening yesterday when we were up against Nadzaruddin. We had a narrow win by 12-10. As a matter of fact, they were leading in the first half by 2 tries to none. I almost thought that we were going to lose. In the second half, we managed to get ourselves together. We scored 2 tries; one of them was by me. =) Hopefully, today we'll be successful again.

I'd like to end with a prayer that I learnt back in RMC. Its called the sportsman's prayer.

O God, please help me to win for I always want to win.
But if by thy inscrutable wisdom thou willeth me not to win,
then make me a good loser.
For when the scholar comes to write against your name,
He writes not that he won, or he lost,
but how he played the game.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I had fun though..

I had a captain ball game on friday; one of those cell group ones. I hadn't exercised in a long time so I felt that it was a wonderful time for me to sweat it out. In fact, I was given a larger portion. I got into an accident with another player and I kinda tore my conjunctiva. It wasn't exactly nice to have someone poke their finger in your eye, especially if it means tearing the membrane that keeps your eye protected.

I was blinded for a few minutes, not beacause I couldn't see, but because I just couldn't open my eyes.


Up till now, my vision is still blurred. I can't get a focused image when only using my right eye. Hopefully, it'll heal in time for the inter-house rugby and basketball competitions.

Friday, September 02, 2005

Gunung Tahan Pictures..

Finally, the long overdue pictures of the Tahan Expedition.
We were lucky to see sunrise. It rained heavily the night before and cleared the clouds.
The view is really magnificent. The thing about gunung tahan is that the surrounding mountains are significantly shorter than tahan itself.
From left: Nik Amir, Wan Azrin, Me and Keith