Bits and pieces of me...

Back biting is a terrible habit that seems not to dissapear with time contrary to my other childish behaviours. As a matter of fact, it gets worse day by day. When the new year started, I made myself promise that I'll never back bite. At least I tried. But the devil within me is overwhelming. I tend to back bite even with a clear conscience. So much for wanting to understand emotions and understanding the reasons to it. I guess that my resolutions don't mean anything anymore. (evil laugh in a distance...)

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Indifferent. Its the one word that would express my whole being. Nothing really seems to excite anymore. It seems as if excitement itself has lost its essence. The once so colourful life seems to be fading into specks of blurry grey. At times I feel lonley even when I stand amongst many friend. At times, I'm empty within even when I laugh and joke. My brain feels numb. Maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep, or maybe I'm just a little stressed out.
In times such as these, its hard to see the abundance that life has to offer. My vision is clouded by worries that seem to be haunting me;I worry too much. I get really frustrated by the most petty things. I seem to be losing my temper more often. Life seems distant.

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I seem to be sufferring from low self esteem. Especially when it comes to math. Exams are just over and the questions were really tough (or I am really stupid). Maybe both. Math never used to be so tough. Maybe the 8 months of doing nothing prior to a-lvls is taking its toll.
I should be sit beside someone really stupid. Maybe then, I'll be able to boost my self esteem. As fate has it, The person to my right is a genious at math and on my left, is a really hardworking student- they're not helping my esteem level. The other option of course, is to work really hard at my math.

Its a tough choice. I'll probably stick to sitting beside someone dumb.